It could be argued there is no such thing as love at first sight. For those who believe this is so, perhaps they've never experienced it and therefore love at first sight is akin to any other feeling or belief could occur immediately, with no test of time. To truly understand what the heart is over-riding anything the mind might be trying to whisper, even shout.
Lying on my stomach on my parents bed, next to Daddy reading his book. I'd rifle through Mama's bottom desk drawer full of photos while she'd fold laundry. My fingers gliding over the square black and white ones, Mama standing in front of a small travel trailer, then the next photo the same except Daddy standing in front of it. Park Service uniform and hat, and that smile. The peaceful/hopeful smile of a man that had just "got the girl". "We would sit in the car at the edge of the canyon and watch the sun rise.....". Mama would smile and get a bit dreamy-eyed. "The trailer didn't have a bathroom in it....I had such terrible morning sickness, every morning I'd have to run the the restaurant nearby to be sick. But oh Allyson....just look how handsome your Daddy is! How could I have ever resisted those blue eyes and that black hair!" Daddy lowers his book slightly, looks over his readers and says, "I used to love watching her brush her teeth....her bottom would shake and I'd pinch it." "Al! Hush now!"
Then there was the time I was lying on their bed, a little older now. Just home from a date and filling her in on the details of where we went and if it was worth taking three hours to do my make-up and hair for. She took out a small box of letters, handed me one of them, and asked me to read it. A love letter from Daddy to her. She had been swiftly sent by her parents away from her summer job at the Grand Canyon off to BYU. They had caught wind of the gentleman (I'm sure not the word they used at the time), she was frequently seeing and seeing as how she was only seventeen and he twenty eight they'd put the kibosh on that situation immediately. But immediately was too late. They were madly in love. And she was expecting a baby. The letter he wrote her assured her of his deep love and devotion to her and the baby and that everything was going to be just fine. As long as they had each other they had everything they needed.
I put the letter down, and grinned, "Mama, is this why you never would be straight with the dates of your marriage and the baby's birthday?" Gently folding the letter back and tucked it safely away with the others, "I wanted to tell you when I thought you were old enough to understand." Deep inside I always figured but never pried. It was my parent's business and theirs to tell or not tell when they felt it was the right time. She figured now was the right time, and I was neither surprised or upset.
My mother's sisters have recollections of their own mother being so very distraught and weeping for weeks. Who could blame her. The age gap was enormous. He was a navy-man. Tattooed. Ear pierced. No religion. No father. And now he's swept their eldest daughter away from BYU back to the Grand Canyon and eloped with her. Tears of despair for my grandmother. Tears of joy for my father. He's always been a crier. For the sorrows and the joys.
As a seasonal Park Ranger, Daddy was to be transferred to the Everglades National Park in Florida. They packed their small trailer with a few belongings and a lot of love and made their first move of many as a new family.
For the rest of her life Mama bemoaned the fact that the doctor never took a urine sample from her. Maybe she thought there perhaps would have been some sort of magic eight ball effect that would appear in the yellow liquid that would have indicated that their baby would be born too early. "He was a beautiful baby and the only one of you children that was born with a full head of dark hair like your daddy's." And then the tears...."I never got to hold him. They wouldn't let me. But he was perfect in every way. Just too tiny...."
The ladies of the church had a baby shower for her anyway. Each lady gifted her a beautiful white handkerchief. Rather than a collection of baby blankets, cloth diapers, and little blue sweaters they showered her with hugs and white hankies.
In 1956 there were perhaps different laws about transporting the dead across state lines. Florida was the birth-place of their first-born, and where untold grief was visited upon the young couple. The west was calling them home. This time as they packed their belongings, they would also carry the body of their tiny infant son with them.
Albert Evan Ayers April 12, 1956 - April 16, 1956 was laid to rest at the "Shrine of the Ages" South Rim of the Grand Canyon, Arizona. Daddy never did not weep when talking about their precious first-born.
Throughout the nearly sixty decades my parents were married until Daddy's passing, they traveled back to the Grand Canyon. Stood in the same spot they were married. Stood at the grave-site of their infant son, and also my father's mother and sister. The tears always would flow. Tears for what was lost to them. But also happy tears for the deep love that kept them bound to each other no matter life's inevitable roller-coaster ride.
When Mama and I sat vigil at Daddy's bed-side as he passed from this mortal life, and not knowing the hour, or the moment, Mama rose up and said she'd like to quickly go brush her teeth. "Well of course" I quietly told her, "I'm not leaving and we don't know how long anyway and brushed teeth always feel so good". She walked around the bed and turned the light on in their adjoining bathroom and shut the door. I gently lay my head on Daddy's chest. The rise and fall slowed. Then nothing. He was gone. The bathroom door opened and I looked up at her. "Mama, I think he wanted to be alone with you. He wanted to watch you brush your teeth. He likes the way your bottom shakes." She and I had a little laugh and a long hug.
To visit the Grand Canyon is a sacred experience for any human being. The reverence and awe you feel when standing at it's edge is palpable. Now and then Mama used to put on her record player Leonard Bernstein's "Grand Canyon Suite". I could see her eyes drift off to another time. I like to think that maybe my parents are able to somehow watch sunrises and sunsets once more. Together. And that their baby is with them now too.
Love at first sight? Yes.
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